stock options

by Graham Email

1. A grant of a massive number of items of stock or shares in the corporation given to senior leaders at frequent intervals. Such grants are sometimes mysteriously and retro-actively repriced downwards by the Stock Grant Fairy to account for falls in the corporation's stock price.
2. A grant of a modest number of items of stock or shares in the corporation given to employees infrequently and at a price close to the then-current value of the stock. These stock options are never visited by the Stock Grant Fairy. As a result, if the corporation's stock price falls, this leads to their being so far under water that you would need a submarine or a bathysphere to find them.