So much of the enthusiasm for Donald Trump seems to be based on a deep nostalgia for The Good Old Days, that I was reminded of this section from P.J. O’Rourke’s book “Parliament of Whores”, where he constructs a cue card to allow a hapless Congresscritter to decide what to do at voting time for yet another bill. The bill seems to me to be just the sort of bill that Donald Trump and his bunch of sycophants would have dreamed up in the current climate:
Bill Number: H.R. a billion-zillion
Title: Fiddlemeyer-O’Houligan Unbelievable Grocery Bill
Detail: Amends the federal anti-trust laws to make the price of everything reasonable, like it used to be, and includes provisions requiring kids today to listen up when their dad talks to them
Committee Action: Passed by the House Means and Ends Committee 3/17/90
Pros: Constituents will murder you in November if you oppose it
Cons: President will kill you right now if you support it
Verdict: A toughie
Prior Votes : The 100th Congress was going to pass it, but a lobbyist ate their copy of the legislation.
Recommendation: Hide in the cloakroom during floor vote
